The Dude Diet: Milestones & Maintenance

Today is a big day for The Dude Diet. The past few weeks have been a strugglefest for Logan, who has been determined to win a bet to lose 6% of his body weight this month, and for me, who was tasked with making that pipedream a reality. It wasn’t easy, but our hard work has finally paid off…the-dude-diet"I don't want anybody to think I believe this statement." "Don't worry, they won't."I am very proud to report that the dude weighed in at a lean 189 pounds this morning. This is down from a “hefty” 205 pounds on February 1.  To be fair, Logan’s starting weight was recorded the day after his return from Hippie Fest 2013, so there was undoubtedly a significant amount of all-inclusive bloat involved. (I say this to prevent future angry comments from dudes who...
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The Dude Diet: Portion Control

Logan currently has five days left to lose 6% of his body weight. While he’s made significant progress, he’s still got a ways to go if he wants to meet his goal. Luckily for The Dude Diet, Logan’s competitive nature has kicked into high gear, and he’s determined to win this bet at any cost. He is definitely getting a little nervous in the home stretch, meaning that he’s been weighing himself three times a day, threatening to go on a crazy crash diet and/or juice cleanse until Friday, and waxing poetic on the sacrifices he’s made on the food front in the past three weeks. For the record, Logan does not have the will power necessary for a crash diet, and I’m pretty sure a cleanse would kill him. Also, crash dieting goes against the two pillars of The Dude Diet: moderation and being less of an...
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The Dude Diet: Stupid Salads

As anticipated, Logan returned from Hippie Fest 2013 bruised, battered, and weighing in at over a deuce. Thanks to 24-hour room service and a piña colada fetish, his wonderland body was in rough shape (albeit very tan). However, since returning to New York, Logan has committed himself to losing 6% of his body weight by March 1, in order to win the bet that I mentioned last week. Amazingly, he has already lost five pounds! This may or may not be due to the fact that he got off the plane and proceeded to sleep for almost three days straight, which left him very little time to eat. Regardless, I am pleased to report that The Dude Diet is back in full effect.the-dude-diet-saladsSpreadhead.For the past week, Logan has been eating exclusively Dude Diet approved fare. There...
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The Dude Diet: Super Bowl Sunday

Logan has spent the past five days at a Widespread Panic festival in the Dominican Republic. Needless to say, the all-inclusive nature of his stay at the Hard Rock Hotel and Resort has not been kind to the Dude Diet. While I insisted on a “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” for what I shall refer to henceforth as “Hippie Fest 2013,” I’d put money on the fact that Logan has spent the week eating “free” cheeseburgers and blowing his daily calorie-intake on Miami vices before noon. However, he has made a bet that he can lose 6% of his body weight between now and March 1, so you better believe that The Dude Diet is going to be taken up a notch this month.the-dude-diet-superbowl-sunday-snacksThe Eagles have never won a Super Bowl.  Unfortunately, Super Bowl Sunday looms large on what I’m sure Logan views...
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The Dude Diet: Breakfast Edition

This week I want to draw attention to breakfast, which until now has sadly been overlooked by The Dude Diet. We all know that breakfast is “the most important meal of the day,” but guys consistently manage to eff it up royally. I’ve been permanently scarred by the Pop-Tart scarfing, breakfast sando-crushing, bagel hoarding lifestyle of many dudes that I know and love.the-dude-diet-breakfast-editionThe Dude is about to become a morning person.Obviously, I’ve seen Logan make some terrifying breakfast choices. If you think he doesn’t love a good hash or a disgustingly greasy plate of huevos rancheros, you clearly don’t read this blog enough. I once witnessed him take down two McDonald’s breakfast burritos in under five minutes. As a snack. Honestly, I’m all for a crazy No-Calorie Sunday brunch, but during the week everyone needs to get their shit together...
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The Dude Diet: It Takes a Village

"I get by with a little help from my friends." -The Beatles on how to be successful on The Dude Dietthe-dude-dietDudes.While the months since the Dude Diet’s inception have been a rollercoaster (physically for Logan and emotionally for me), I am very pleased to report that Logan’s nutritional idiocy has markedly improved. Although he still makes terrible meal choices from time to time, he is beginning to delineate between good and bad decisions when it comes to food. I know this because Logan now seems compelled to confess his Dude Diet sins to me without provocation. (Honestly, I would probably sleep better at night if we stuck with the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy that was instituted for China Fest 2012.)At first, I was taken aback by these confessional outbursts. We would be lying in bed and Logan would suddenly...
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The Dude Diet: New Year’s Resolutions

the-dude-diet2013: Year of the Dude DietAlthough Logan repeatedly warned me that his eating habits were going to “get real dirty over the holidays,” I don’t think I was actually prepared for the free-for-all that has taken place since Thanksgiving. I have already discussed the horrors of the weeklong Chinese buffet that was Logan’s trip to Shanghai, so no need to go into more gory dumpling-eating details.Christmas, which came on the heels of China-fest 2012, was equally unfortunate on the food front. I know this because of Logan’s texts about ham sandwiches and the pictures that his mom sent me of him going to town on his favorite finger foods. These pictures were made all the more terrifying by the fact that he decided to turn his holiday beard into a holiday moustache.the-dude-dietRead More >>

The Dude Diet: Snack Attack

easy-avocado-toast-with-turkeyLogan is currently busy eating, drinking, and karaoke-ing his way through Shanghai. Although I received a distraught phone call about how they had only served him “weird Chinese cookies and shitty quarter sandos” (I assume he meant tea sandwiches) on the first day of class, I am sad to report that conditions have improved, and he is happily sampling as much Chinese food as he can get his hands on. I know this because he has sent several pictures of him smiling with various plates of Chinese specialites and hugging street food vendors. He also admitted to having “the dumpling sweats” on Wednesday night. Clearly, the Dude Diet is not faring well. However, this blog is banned in China, so Logan probably just forgot the rules…This week, I would like to focus on an issue that poses...
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The Dude Diet: Chinese Food Edition

I’m sure everyone is anxious for an update on Logan’s holiday eating habits. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but let’s just say that he’s on the naughty list. When I met him at a holiday party last Wednesday night, he was already beyond salvation. I actually walked in right as he was aiming for a tray of sliders, and after kissing me hello, he said, “You look very pretty, but you made me miss the slider lady!” I love a well-timed entrance. Unfortunately, things only went downhill from there. He turned up his nose at the chicken skewers (the only reasonably healthy option), crushed several pulled pork sliders, and engaged in some very embarrassing behavior when the pigs in a blanket showed up. To be fair, I didn’t have time to feed him a healthy meal beforehand as I had planned, so that’s on me.However, while...
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The Dude Diet: Holiday Party Plan

the-dude-diet-holiday-party-planHappy Holidays from the Dude.I’m not going to lie, it's been a rough week for The Dude Diet. Despite my best efforts, Logan remains committed to "going off the rails" until New Years. However, I have still managed to get him to eat a couple of healthy meals this week, and he’s gone to the gym twice, so I remain hopeful. Like anyone else, he has good days and bad days.Last Thursday was one of those bad days. I knew it was going to be a tough one when Logan rushed out the door and yelled, “I drank an Emergen-C, so I’ve got all my fruits taken care of, and I’m gonna get something dirty for lunch! Love you!” He was gone before I could protest, probably skipping to the subway high on Vitamin C and...
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