The Dude Diet: Get On Board

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dude-diet-hibachi-chicken-with-unfried-riceDue to popular demand, I am very pleased to announce that The Dude Diet will now be a weekly fixture on Domesticate ME! For those of you who are new to this blog, The Dude Diet was inspired by my nutritionally challenged boyfriend, Logan. For more details click here.

This is Logan.

Many people have asked me about whether the Dude Diet is right for them (or their boyfriend/bestie/dad/etc.). The answer is always YES. The Dude Diet is effective because it’s all about moderation and being less of an idiot (which is clearly very difficult for men). In short, the Dude Diet is an awesome lifestyle that will make you feel better and look hotter. Period. Still not sure how the Dude Diet fits into your life? Luckily, I anticipated this. I have compiled a list of the top five indicators that you or someone you know is in desperate need of the Dude Diet…

Top 5 Signs You (or Someone You Love) Should Be On The Dude Diet:

1. Food is inhaled rather than chewed and swallowed in the traditional manner. It should take more than 3 minutes to eat a meal. You should also be able to close your mouth around each bite of food. This is common sense.

2. You pop Zantac like candy. It says “for occasional heartburn relief” on the box for a reason.

3. If you can’t remember the last vegetable you ate. For the record, Caesar salad, broccoli that comes mixed in your Chinese food, and the lettuce, tomato, and onion on your cheeseburger don’t count. Get it together.

4. If you have ever gotten the “meat sweats.” I had never heard of the “meat sweats” until I met Logan. According to him, this is when you get a stomachache and start sweating because you have eaten too much meat. It is known to happen after visiting BBQ restaurants. It is also disgusting.

5. You aren’t getting laid. If you are in a relationship: You should be getting laid on the reg. If you aren’t, you should be worried. It may have something to do with those extra lbs. Or your meat sweats. Regularly being too full to have sex is also a dealbreaker.  If you’re single: You should be leading with your personality when you hit on chicks, not your beer belly. If your personality isn’t that great, the least you can do is get your weight under control.

Since going on the Dude Diet, Logan has made remarkable progress. I’m pleased to report that his eating habits really have changed dramatically. White bread, sugar, and fried foods no longer make up the bulk of his diet, and according to him, he has been having “stupid salads” for lunch. (Clearly, we’re still working on his terminology.) In short, it appears that he is starting to think before he inhales his meals, which is promising, to say the least. In the first two weeks, Logan lost ten pounds. I couldn’t be prouder of myself!

That said, there have obviously been some stumbling blocks along the way. For example, when Logan realized that he had lost ten pounds, he got off the scale and yelled, “Get dressed! Let’s go get pizza! And thirty beers!!!” FML. Similarly, when somebody commented “So skinny!” under a photo of Logan on Instagram, he suddenly thought he was Brad Pitt in the 90s and demanded Chinese food. Oh, and when the power went out during Sandy, his immediate reaction was to eat all of the Snickers ice cream bars in the freezer. You know, because he hates “waste.” Every time something like this happens, I remind Logan that eating healthily is a lifestyle, not a diet (or a punishment), and that binge eating every time he loses a few pounds is counterintuitive. Apparently it’s taking a while for this concept to sink it. Patience is a virtue.

However, these setbacks pale in comparison to the current challenge of keeping Logan “under a deuce” this holiday season. Last week he told me that the Dude Diet is going out the window until New Years, and that he is going to go “off the fucking rails for the next month.” If Thanksgiving was any indication, he was not exaggerating. Even though I tried to institute a “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” regarding his eating habits over the weekend, he kept sending me texts about the “dank shit” he was eating with his family in Colorado. His mom even sent me pictures of the scary Thanksgiving sandwiches he made. Several times a day…

At least it’s on whole wheat bread. Small victories.

Therefore, when Logan got back from Colorado yesterday, he was obviously in need of a post-Thanksgiving cleanse. This fact was solidified when he gave me a hug and then pulled a ball of aluminum foil out of his front pocket from the “Thanksgiving sando” he “crushed” on the plane. Obviously, I would never put Logan on a real cleanse (way too risky), but I figured Hibachi Chicken with Un-Fried Rice would at least get him back on the right track.

dude-diet-hibachi-chicken-with-unfried-rice-3This was another majorly successful Dude Diet creation. Logan literally squealed like a girl when he saw it on the stove. I also gave him chopsticks because I figured they would slow him down. This worked for about five minutes until he got a fork and started using the chopsticks to push the rice onto it, but it was worth a try. I’m all about experimenting with different techniques.

the-dude-dietEven though Logan has made it clear that he is going to “get dirty” on the food front for the holidays, I am determined to find a way to keep the dude on the diet. Check-in next week for The Dude Diet: The Holiday Plan. This needs to work, since Logan has also decided to grow his “holiday beard,” which isn’t his best look…

Hibachi Chicken with Un-Fried Rice: (Serves 3-4, depending on hunger levels)

For the rice:
1 cup short-grain brown rice
2 teaspoons extra virgin coconut oil (Yes, you can also use olive oil.)
1 small zucchini, diced small (about 1 cup diced zucchini)
1 cup grated or finely chopped carrots
½ medium yellow onion, minced (about ¾ cup minced onion)
2 scallions, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves
1 large egg
2½ tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
2 teaspoons unseasoned rice vinegar
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil
For the chicken:
2 teaspoons extra virgin coconut oil (Again, olive oil will work.)
2 large garlic cloves, minced
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, diced into 1-inch cubes
Juice of 1 lemon
1½ tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
1 teaspoon honey

Preparing your Hibachi Chicken with Un-Fried Rice:

-Cook the brown rice according to the package directions. (This generally takes about 45 minutes, so plan accordingly.)

dude-diet-fried-rice-step-1-Heat the coconut oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When the oil is hot and shimmering, add the vegetables and garlic.

dude-diet-fried-rice-step-2-Cook for 4-5 minutes until the zucchini and carrots are tender and the onion is translucent.

-Push the veggies to one side of the pan. Crack the egg into the empty space and scramble with a spatula until just set. (This should take about a minute.)

dude-diet-fried-rice-step-3-Fold the scrambled eggs into the veggies, then add the rice, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and sesame oil to the pan, stirring to combine. (If you like spice, feel free to add some Sriracha here too.) Cook for 1 minute. Cover and keep warm over very low heat until ready to serve.

dude-diet-fried-rice-step-4-Moving on to the chicken. Heat a large nonstick skillet or wok over medium-high heat. When hot, add the coconut oil and swirl to coat the bottom of the pan. Add the garlic, and cook, stirring constantly for 30 seconds until fragrant. Add the chicken, stirring to coat it with the garlic, then let it cook for 2-3 minutes, undisturbed, until lightly browned on the bottom. Give the chicken a good stir, and cook for another 2 minutes or so until cooked through. Add the lemon juice, soy sauce and honey and cook for 1 minute (it will bubble vigorously—that’s a good thing). Remove from the heat immediately.

dude-diet-hibachi-chicken-Divide the rice among for bowls or plates and top with chicken. Spoon the pan juices (from the chicken) over each serving, and serve warm.


*The recipe photos were updated on May 24, 2016. I felt the 2012 Blackberry photos weren’t doing this meal justice…

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  1. Anonymous on November 28, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    The food looks and sounds delicious and satisfying. Mark and I both need to eat better and drop a few pounds. The blog is funny and inspiring. Mark likes good food, but to celebrate ANYTHING he wants beer and ice cream. I need Serena! We’ll keep reading. Amy

  2. Cari @ MeetMyHusband on November 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I actually laughed out loud while reading this post. Guys are too funny! I tried to switch my husband to the Paleo diet (gradually, of course) about a month ago. We failed miserably. He was throwing out the lunches I made him and driving out for pizza and BBQ. Great post!

  3. Stefanie @ Sarcastic Cooking on November 28, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Awesome! I am totally sharing this with my husband. We were both just talking about how the holidays and time off last week has already taken tolls on our bodies. I may just have to join him on the dude diet! PS Totally heard about meat sweats before and agree, gross!

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